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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27279463">hand me downs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeymoon_avenue/pseuds/honeymoon_avenue'>honeymoon_avenue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Marriage, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:29:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,641</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27279463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeymoon_avenue/pseuds/honeymoon_avenue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Arya suffers a miscarriage and her relationship with Gendry go through a hard time</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hand me downs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Holy shit i made it!</p><p>I haven't written anything in years. Honestly the only reason i decided to do this is because i watched joe's new show "Adult Material". I also have a quiz in uni so i’m doing this instead of studying (and finishing almost 2 week later).</p><p>Wanna make everything clear from the beginning: 1. i’m not a practiced writer. I’ve been doing this on and off since i was like 10 with breaks that lasted years. So there’s close to no progress in this. 2. English is not my first language and I don’t have a beta so there’re probably quite a few grammatical mistakes. Sorry</p><p>But here it is. </p><p>song - "Hand Me Downs" by Mac Miller</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>I'm thinkin' maybe I should thank you</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>Oh, baby, I should buy you another round</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>'Cause you care, and I swear that I'm here, but I'm there</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>It's gettin' harder to hunt me down</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>Get away to a place with a lake, such a great view</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>Leave the bank, couple hunnid thou'</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>I made it, but I hate once I build it, I break it</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>That might just break me down</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It wasn't fine. It hasn't fine since... Since <em>that</em> happened. They haven't talked about it even two months after. There was mostly silence in their home since that day. The two of them put their minds and free time into different things, which did not really include the other one.</p><p> </p><p>"Arya, c'mon. It's Friday evening. You need to finally get out of the house and relax. I'm tired of seeing you like this," Sansa says standing up from a couch on which she and Arya sat watching a new episode of Arya's favorite show.</p><p> </p><p>In reality, none of them was actually watching it. Arya was just blankly staring at the TV with Nymeria’s head on her lap while Sansa was watching her sister concerned. Arya has been obsessed with that show for years without a break, it was the thing that brought her and Gendry together in the first place. That's why seeing Arya so indifferent towards it was so scary. She was always so emotional: throwing hands, laughing, screaming at the screen. Not anymore though.</p><p> </p><p>"No, I'm good. You go," says Arya.</p><p> </p><p>Lately, whenever Sansa was around Arya she felt like she was on a minefield, tiptoeing around and being scared to say a wrong thing. She understood what her sister was feeling — as much as she possibly could — but this couldn't go like this forever.</p><p> </p><p>"Arya, please... You've barely left the house these past weeks. Let's go out somewhere, clear our heads," says Sansa. After a moment she adds, "Let's finally talk..."</p><p> </p><p>Arya signs loudly but doesn't say anything for a while and then..."Okay."</p><p> </p><p>Sansa is surprised. She hoped to hear this answer but she stopped thinking she could do it after a while. She even thought she misheard her sister. "Really?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, really," Arya snaps. "If it means you all finally get the fuck out of my hair, I'll do it. Let's go. But I don't wanna talk."</p><p> </p><p>She is so tired. So fucking tired. Of everything. And especially of everyone. There hasn’t been a single day where somebody didn't ask her how she was feeling. She could feel everyone walking around her on their tiptoes, treating her like she was made out of glass, like she was going to break any second. She is so fucking <em>tired</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She just wants everyone to move on and forget about it. Arya knows she will never forget about it, never fully move on. But she just wants for it to stop hurting her so much, stop waking her up with a nightmare every single night, just stop.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay... Then we'll just go to some nice place and have a dinner and just have a good time, alright?" Sansa asks.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, sure."</p><p> </p><p>Arya gets up from the couch, causing Nymeria to jump off it as well, and makes her way into the bedroom. She comes out a couple of minutes later with her hair brushed down, wearing black jeans and a baggy shirt. She looks nice but Sansa can see right though her sister. Before everything she loved wearing crop topes and short skirts, clothes that hugged her figure and showed a lot of skin. But now... Arya hates looking at her body, it makes her ache.</p><p> </p><p>"Lead the way, dear sister," says Arya sarcastically, motioning her sister towards the door.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>This is how they find themselves in one of the best restaurants in the city, owned by Sansa's girlfriend Margaery's family. They order some food and Sansa asks the waiter to bring them the best wine Tyrells have.</p><p> </p><p>"So..." Sansa starts the conversation, knowing that otherwise they would spend the whole evening in silence. Arya looks up from her glass to her sister. "Have you and Gendry talked about when you plan on getting married?"</p><p> </p><p>"What?" says Arya and looks down to an elegant band with a diamond in the middle, surrounded by wolves' heads, sitting on her finger. Sometimes she forgets it's even there. They were so excited to get married once Gendry proposed to her. They even started planning everything out until things came up and they decided to put the wedding off for a bit. And then they just never got back to it. "Ummm... No. No, we haven't talked about it."</p><p> </p><p>"I just thought, maybe I can help you with it. We can arrange everything and you'll get married right on your anniversary in spring. That would be so romantic, don't you think?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, so romantic," Arya says sipping her wine. Arya was never the most romantic type, but she always used to be happy whenever she talked about her and Gendry'd plans for the wedding. It makes Sansa so sad to see her sister so unenthusiastic now.</p><p> </p><p>"Arya..." Sansa starts but immediately gets caught off by Arya who understands what Sansa wants to say by the tone of her voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Sansa, <em>please</em>," she is practically begging, "let's not talk about it. I don't wanna talk about it. Not with all of you."</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry, I just... I just can't stand seeing you like this, Arya... This can't go on like this forever, you need to let it go at some point," says Sansa. She can see the way Arya's jaw tenses, but she decides that they can no longer dance around the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Arya dries her entire glass in one gulp before answering, "You don't understand shit about how i feel. You think I don't know all of that?! I'm doing the best I fucking can, but I'm not just gonna wake up one morning and forget anything ever happened." There're tears in Arya's eyes — angry and sad. She learns closer to Sansa and whispers, "It was my child, Sansa. It was my child and I never got to hold them, spend time with them, watch them grow up. Don't you fucking tell what I should or shouldn't do."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry, Arya, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry..."</p><p> </p><p>Arya huffs and pours herself another glass of wine drinking everything at once again.</p><p> </p><p>They spend the rest of the dinner almost in a complete silence.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gendry picks them up from the restaurant in his car. He had just finished working when he got a text from Arya. He is quite surprised to hear that Arya agreed to go out with Sansa. Lately Arya only left the house to go to her training sessions at the gym, to go to the hospital to get another check out and new prescriptions or go walk their dog Nymeria. He knows how hard Arya took what happened, he did too. But he drowned all of his feelings in work, while she let them drown her. And he couldn't blame her. He wanted to help her, to make sure she knew he was there for her, he loved her more than life itself, that he never once thought what happened was her fault. But it felt like there was some kind of a wall between them and no matter how loud they screamed, the other one couldn't hear them.</p><p> </p><p>He drops Sansa off at her apartment building, wishing her a good night and drives off to get Arya and him home. He feels the tension between them and he doesn't like it.</p><p> </p><p>"Mott said that he wants to give me a raise. Probably in the next couple of weeks," Gendry takes his eyes off the road for a second to look at Arya on a passenger sit. She's looking out of the window at the night city around them. "He also said that my project for affordable housing in Flea Bottom is very promising and suggested me to present it on the next meeting."</p><p> </p><p>"That's nice. Congrats."</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks."</p><p> </p><p>And there's silence again.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry takes one of his hand off the wheel and takes ahold of Arya's hand that is resting on her lap. He intertwines their fingers together. "Arya?"</p><p> </p><p>"Hmmm?"</p><p> </p><p>"I love you, don't forget that." He squeezes her hand a little harder and she does the same in return.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you too." In the corner of his eye he sees her smile a little and it warms his heart.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment it feels like everything is actually fine. Like they're going be alright.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>As soon as Jon heard the news about Arya's pregnancy he immediately sent a request to his boss to take a week off to visit his cousin and her fiancée, and it took a few weeks, but he finally made it. He was a bit mad at them for keeping such information from him at first, but Arya said it was in case something was to happen as it often did during the first trimester, and Jon couldn't be mad at her for long, especially not now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I can't believe it!" Jon says motioning his hands towards Arya. She just rolls her eyes at that but doesn't even try to hide the huge smile on her face. "And I'm really disappointed in you for not telling as soon as you found out," Jon tried to look upset but he couldn't keep a frown on his face for longer than a second, he was too happy.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"We've been over this, Jon. We just wanted to be careful. Until a couple of months ago I wasn't even sure if I could have children after the incident," says Arya and Jon just nods. He knows what incident she's talking about. It was in her collage years when she moved to Braavos, some psychopathic girl from her dance class attacked her with a knife. Arya's mother Catelyn being obsessed with wanting to have grandchildren took Arya to multiple doctors to make sure her daughter would be able to have children but none of the results were conclusive. "You're literally the first person I've told after Gendry."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I know, I know," he moves closer to his cousin, who is filling their cups with tea, and holds her close to him. "When is the father coming home?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya looks at the watch on her wrist. "Ummm... He should be done in a couple of hours. He's taking extra shifts so he can get a couple of weeks of leave when the baby is born."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She bends to give some food to Nymeria who is walking circles around her legs. But as soon as she straightens up another wave of pain hits her as it's been doing all morning, only now it has getting more intense.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Shit," says Arya, frowning and holding onto her barely round belly.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The movement immediately makes Jon worry, "Is everything okay? You need something? Should i get you to a doctor?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Gods, you sound just like Gendry. No, I'm good. It's just a cramp. Those happen."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya takes a couple of deep breaths, whispering "I'm fine" under her nose.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Arya, are you sure? Maybe, we go to the doctor just in case?" Jon tries to convince her. He doesn't know how pregnancy is supposed to feel. No one who he is close to has been through it yet. The only ones in their family who have kids (besides Catelyn and Ned, obviously) are Theon and Robb, but their twins came from a surrogate so it's not the same. "I'll call Catelyn," says Jon reaching for his phone that is lying on the table. But Arya gets to it quicker.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Don't you fucking dare. She'll start panicking and will book the first flight from Winterfell. Mom already calls me twice a day to check on my every move. I don't need her here getting on my nerves over what I eat or drink, how much I sleep or walk. I have enough of that with Gendry."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Now that he looks at her, she looks more relaxed.  He guesses she's no longer in pain, but he decides to keep an eye on her for the rest of day. He snatches his phone from her hand and puts it back on the table. Arya gives him one last look and goes to get their tea.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"So, how is Ygritte doing?" asks Arya when she comes back and sits down in front of him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"She's great, yeah," says Jon. Arya can see him open his mouth and then close it again, like he's thinking whether he sould say something what's on his mind or not. "I'm gonna propose to her."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"What? Oh my God... When?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Once I'm back home."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya stands up to hug her cousin but once again feels a pain shot through her lower abdomen, "Fucking hell..."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Arya, this is not a joke. I'm getting you to the hospital. We need to make sure both of you are okay."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She seems to think about it for a moment before giving him a short nod, "We can take my car. The keys are in the purse in the bedroom."</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jon takes her to the address Arya gives me. He knows he's driving over a speed limit, but he tries his best to remain calm and be careful. They definately don't need to get into a carcrash on top of everything.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jon looks over to Arya, who is holding a phone to her ear, "I hope you calling Gendry." She only shakes her hand at him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hey. Are you free?" says Arya, once her fiancée picks up his phone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hey, yeah. Just finished a meeting. Why?" says Gendry. His voice is light and Arya hates to worry him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Jon is driving me to the hospital-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gendry cuts her off before she can say anything, "What? What the fuck is happening, Arya?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I don't know. My abdomen has been aching the entire day-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya once again gets cut off, but this time by both Jon and Gendry.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"The entire day?!"  shrieks Jon.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Why didn't you tell me?" yells Gendry. Arya can tell he's mad at her and is worried about her at the same time. She hears him take a deep breath. "I'm on my way. Be careful. I love you," and then he hangs up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's all time that takes Jon to pull into the parking lot infront of the hospital. He rushes her to the registration desk, where a young nurse greats them.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"My cousin is six months pregnant and she's been having cramps all days. Can somebody check on her?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Please, m'am, tell me your name."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Arya Stark," says Arya. The nurse beggins looking through her computer.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Miss Stark, your doctor is here right now. I'm gonna list you as an emergency. Door 201, please."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jon leads her to the door and right before she walks inside, he turnes her around to face him, "You go. I'll stay and wait for Gendry. I'll send him in as soon as he's here, okay?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Okay," says Arya quietly. Jon hugs her and kisses her forehead.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Inside, Arya sits down and tries her best to describe everything she has been doing and feeling throughout the entire day. Even though at first Arya didn't think her cramps were anything out of ordinary, now she was getting more and more scared by second. It was when the doctor suggests to do an ultrasound to look at the baby that Gendry finally bursts through the door, his face all red and his breathing is heavy.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya lays down on a table and grips Gendry's hand hard when she feels the cold gel on her belly. Gendry returns the gesture.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When Arya turns her gaze from Gendry to her doctor, she sees that he's staring at the screen moving the scanner over her belly, his brows are frowned. She feels her heart skip a beat, "What's wrong?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Ummm... Excuse me, I-" he doesn't finish the sentence and tries moving the scanner a bit more. "I'm going to need to run a few tests."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya let's him do whatever he needs without a word. She's not stupid, she understands what is going on. She is scared to even look at Gendry, who is still holding onto her hand. She knows that if she looks at him she'll break down. She tries to stay strong because there's still hope. Maybe she is just overthinking everything, the doctor hasn't even said anything, right? But the constant waves of pain and disomfort don't work in her favor.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute," the doctor says and walkes out of the door. Gendry immediately pulls her closer to him by her hand, lays her head on his chest and kisses the crown of her head, slowly brushing her hair.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They stay like this for minutes, which feel like hours or even years. Then the doctor comes back, and Arya can hear him sign. She doesn't move away from Gendry's chest, hiding her face.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Well- I'm really sorry to inform you, but it looks like you've suffered a late miscarriage, better known as still birth. I'm really sorry. I'll give the two of you some time."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There's ringing in her ears. It is this moment that Arya feels like her world fell apart.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It feels like everything can actually go back to normal until she sees the date on a calendar. <em>Her due date.</em></p><p> </p><p>It was supposed to be the happiest day of her and Gendry's lives. It was supposed to be the day they become a family by blood. It was supposed to be the day they finally meet their baby. <em>It was supposed to be</em>.</p><p> </p><p>And here she sat. Alone in the apartment with a half empty glass of wine staring at the window where she could see kids playing on a playground behind their building. Gendry woke up before her, took Nymeria and went for a run with her as he often did on his days off. Arya knew they were coming back any minute now, so she decided to clean up and make it look like she wasn't doing exactly what she was doing. But she only has time to pick the bottle up and start moving towards the kitchen to put it back on its place when she hears the keys turn and sees the door open with Nymeria running inside and towards her and Gendry following close behind.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, you're up," Gendry says. He looks at a half empty bottle in her hand. He looks like he wants to say something but decides against it. "Have you eaten anything yet?"</p><p> </p><p>"No," she replies and moves into the kitchen to put the bottle down. Gendry's footsteps move into the bathroom and in a minute she hears him get into the shower. Before everything happened she would have went in to join him. Not anymore though. They haven't been close in months. They've barely even kissed anymore. It was mostly Gendry kissing the top of her head, which made her sick every time.</p><p> </p><p>She reach her hand for a bottle and takes a huge gulp before she can stop herself. It is barely ten in the morning and she is already drunk. But she needs it, right? She deserves to clear her head of any thoughts, right? <em>Right?</em></p><p> </p><p>She sits on the chair and blankly stares at the wall with Nymeria by her feet begging for attention for so long that she doesn't even notice Gendry leave the bathroom and come into the kitchen. One moment he just appears in front of her on his knees holding both of her hands in his own.</p><p> </p><p>"Arya, look at me," he says calmly. She does what he asks. "We can't go like this forever. It's been almost three months. Please, Arya, I can't stand seeing you like this."</p><p> </p><p>She doesn't say anything and turns her gaze away from him, her lips start to tremble.</p><p> </p><p>"My baby is supposed to be here," she whispers and Gendry can feel tears in his eyes which he tries to hold back. "This isn't right. I need my baby. I need my baby, Gendry."</p><p> </p><p>"I know, love."</p><p> </p><p>"No, you don't. Nobody fucking knows anything," Arya stands up and pulls her hands from Gendry's gasp, moving away from him.</p><p> </p><p>"You think I don't feel anything?" Gendry stands up as well. He tries, really fucking tries to hold back his fury, but it's been building up in him for so long that it's about to rip him apart. "It was my child too, Arya! You're not the only one who lost something," he has angry tears running down his face but he doesn't try to stop them anymore. "I lost my child and now it feels like I'm losing you too. You never leave the house, you barely eat, you don't even say more than two words to me anymore. I can't- I can't do this."</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck are you talking about?" Arya asks. He is not... He isn't breaking up with her, right?</p><p> </p><p>"I'm gonna take a couple of days off work and go to Stormlands to visit Davos and Marya. I really hope that by the time I come back you'll be ready to talk about whatever the fucking is happening between us. Because I love you so fucking much, Arya, that it's killing me," he looks her in the eyes for a moment and then moves past her into the bedroom. She just continues standing right there, frozen. It's only when  she hears his footsteps next to the exit does she look at him. He's looking back at her, fully dressed with a big bag in one hand. "I love you."</p><p> </p><p>And with that he leaves, closing the door of their apartment behind himself. Nymeria sits by the door whining and Arya leans on the nearest wall and slides down to the floor, letting free all the tears she didn't know she had left in her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Look, son. It's not like I'm not happy no see you. You know, this is is much your home as it's mine. But, why such a sudden visit?" says Davos walking into the room where Gendry is sitting on a bed with his face in his hands. Davos was like a father to Gendry. He took him in when Gendry was a seventeen year old troubled boy about to be kicked out of the foster care system with no money or a place to go to. Davos and Marya took him in and cared for him and loved him like their own child. And even when he was causing them problems with constant arrests for street fighting or car racing they never once gave up on him. And he's forever grateful for that. "What happened?"</p><p> </p><p>Gendry signs and looks up. "Things with Arya aren't good. Needed a break. Both of us," he mumbles. His voice trembles a bit when he adds, "I don't know what to do. She's pulling farther and farther away from me. I can't take it for much longer, Davos."</p><p> </p><p>Davos sits on the bed next to Gendry and puts a hand on his back. "What is it what you think of doing?"</p><p> </p><p>Gendry keeps quiet for a period of time and Davos, not wanting to pressure the boy with questions, is about to give him some privacy to work through his thoughts and feelings when Gendry finally speaks up, a lot of desperation in his words, "I don't think we can work this out."</p><p> </p><p>"Listen, Marya and I haven't been through what you have been through. We can't tell you what to do or not to do. You're the only one who can make the decision what to do with your relationship."</p><p> </p><p>"I know," Gendry says it so quietly that Davos wonders if he imagined it.</p><p> </p><p>"Today is Arya's due date, you know that?" Gendry speaks up once again after a pause. "I would have become a father today. But look where we are," he laughs bitterly. "I don't even know if it was a son or daughter because at firts we wanted for it to be a surprise and then... Well... Didn't want to know anything, hurt less."</p><p> </p><p>Gendry's phone buzzes on the counter next to the bed and the screen lights up. He reaches for it and sighs heavily when he sees what's there.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Arya</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm sorry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm sorry I hurt you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I just keep on fucking everything up</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please let me know you're okay</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"It's Arya," he tells Davos while typing a short "I'm okay". He just can't talk to her now. All of their conversations feel tense because both are dancing around the thing that bothers them and Gendry just can't do it unless they get it out of the way. But he knows she's not ready and he isn't going to put his feelings over hers, now or ever. So he keeps on give her more and more time, waiting for her.</p><p> </p><p>He does. And he feels the weight of the time crushing them both, and it's not too long until it gets so heavy that they can't get out, until they can't breathe.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry knows what he has to do. No matter how much it hurts. He knows.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's been days and quite a few bottles of alcohol since Gendry left.</p><p> </p><p>During this time Arya barely ate anything and spent most of her time in their bed which felt so cold now. Her head hasn't stopped hurting for a second from all the drinking and crying and not sleeping. But physical pain only added to the mental one.</p><p> </p><p>She is just laying in that bed on her back and is listening to the silence in the apartment. Even Nymeria — usually a very active and noisy dog — keeps quiet, staying by her girl's feet and climbing higher whenever Arya started shaking.</p><p> </p><p>She knows where her relationship with Gendry is going. She tries to put the thought as far in her mind as she can but she's not naive. Arya sees it every timehe looks at her, sees it in his eyes, on his face. She can't blame him for feeling this way. He deserves so much better than the way she treats him. There's no one in the world who deserves happiness and love more than him, Arya thinks. And even though it hurts to admit, she's not the one who can give it all to him, that much is obvious to her now. And she'll do anything to get him to someone who can. Because she loves him that much.</p><p> </p><p>Her thoughts are interrupted by the keys in the lock of the front door. Nymeria immediately jumps out of bed and heads towards the entrance and Arya follows behind her. Is he back? She lets herself get a little excited. But it doesn't last long because in a moment the door opens and-</p><p> </p><p>"Sansa?" says Arya seeing her sister appear in the apartment and squad down to scratch the dog behind her ears. Sansa had the key in case there was an emergency of some kind. Guess, it is an emergency enough. "Why are you here?"</p><p> </p><p>"You have been ignoring all of my texts and calls for days. Had to make sure you're okay."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, here I am. Living and breathing. So you can go back now," says Arya motioning towards the door with her hand. To be honest, Arya doesn't know if she actually wants Sansa to leave or to stay with her.</p><p> </p><p>"Is he still not back?" Sansa asks. Arya looks down at that and shakes her head. "Come here," she says and pulls Arya into a hug. Arya hesitates for a second then hugs her sister back, holding her tight.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them hug for a while. Then Sansa sits Arya down on the couch and goes into the kitchen to get them some tea. She sits down herself a few minutes later turning her full attention towards Arya.</p><p> </p><p>"Has he called?"</p><p> </p><p>"No. Only texted once. Wasn't much," says Arya looking at her hands and playing with the ring on her finger. "He hates me."</p><p> </p><p>"What are you even talking about?" Sansa is surprised by the words that come out of her sister's mouth. "Arya, he loves you."</p><p> </p><p>"I know. But he also hates me. Maybe he just doesn't want to admit it. But deep down-"</p><p> </p><p>"You're being stupid, Arya."</p><p> </p><p>"No, I'm not! Everything that has happened was my fault. My body failed us, my mind is ruining us. It's all me."</p><p> </p><p>"Listen here," says Sansa and puts her hands on Arya's jaw making her sister look her in the eyes. "You really should talk to Gendry. I know it's hard. But if there's someone who can understand your feelings it's him. So give him a chance."</p><p> </p><p>Arya knows Sansa is right so she doesn't argue, just gives her a short nod. They stay there for hours, talking about everything and nothing at all.</p><p> </p><p>Sansa leaves late and Arya feels a bit lighter after talking and is on her way to bed when her phone's screen lights up with a notification.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Gendry</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm coming home. Are you ready to talk?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arya takes a deep breath and replies.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Arya</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She remembers the day they found out they were expecting a baby like it was yesterday.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She wakes up in the morning once again feeling extremely nauseous. Gendry has already left for work and she was working from home for the past four days she's been sick. Arya isn't stupid or oblivious, she knows it is a symptom. To add to that, her periods are also late, though they haven't been regular for years. But she feels nervous about taking the test. Again.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They have been actively trying for a baby for over a year now and she's taken more pregnancy tests during that time than she can count. She doesn't want to get her hopes up only for them to fall down as they did every other time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But if this time it's actually true? Arya thinks. But what if not? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya decides to wait for Gendry's return to determine what to do. And for the time being - when her senses more or less return to normal - just keep her mind off all of it. She has so much work to do.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So much that the entire day passes her by in a blink of an eye. Gendry walks through the door with a bag full of groceries and a "hey". and Nymeria at his feet, jumping and barkling excitedly. He puts the bag on the kitchen counter, quickly unpacking everything and putting things on their places. Then he walks to the couch on which Arya is sitting with her laptop. He puts an arm over her shoulder pulling her closer and kissing her cheek.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"How was your day?"  he asks looking at what's on her screen. There're a lot of files and tables opened. Arya loves being a laywer. And even though she hates doing  paper work — oh, does she have a lot of it — she wouldn't trade being in court for anything. It's very exhausting, but the in the good way. She truly loves helping people.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Good. I've been going through the evidence for the Oberlyn Martell case. There's so much. I can't believe they're trying to make it look like the Mountain didn't do it when there's a literal footage."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You watched that?! Shit, Arya... The man got his skull broken."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Part of the job," she gives him a sad smile.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gendry decides he doesn't want to talk about things Arya has seen, so he changes the subject, "You've eaten anything?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Ummm... Not much," she says carefully and puts her laptop away, turning to face Gendry. "Still not feeling too great".</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gendry sits up straight, "Arya, are you-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I don't know," she throws her hands in the air. "I was waiting for you".</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Well, I'm here. You wanna take the test?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I guess..."  she looks nervous and Gendry sees it. He puts his hand under her chin to tilte it up so he can learn down and kiss her softly on the lips. He pulls away way too soon for her liking, so she signs and gets up from the couch to go to the bathroom but not before giving him one more peck.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She's back a minute later with a plastic stick in her hand which she puts down on a table, facing down. Gendry starts a timer on his phone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'm scared," Arya says and looks up at him, her eyes wide. Gendry pulls her into his lap and wraps his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck and kissing it softly.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They sit in silence for a bit, just holding each other close. Arya pulls back slightly and looks him in the eyes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"What if it's negative again? Or positive? Gendry, what if it's-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He quickly shuts her up with a kiss to the lips. It's a short kiss which makes Arya whine and try to chase his lips when he pulls away. He just laughs, lets her kiss him once more and then puts his forehead against hers.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"If it's positive then we celebrate. If not then we continue trying until we get there. Yeah?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Yeah," she smiles at him. He can't stop himself from kissing her again and kissing and kissing and kissing until they're interrupted by the ringing of his phone informing them that the time is up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You're ready?" Gendry asks with his face inches from hers, their eyes closed.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Let's see," says Arya and grabs the stick before she can stop herself. She turns it around so they can see what it says and-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Holy shit," one of them says, or maybe both. It doesn't matter. What matters is the word they see in front of them. Pregnant.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arya turns her gaze to Gendry. He's looking at the word in such awe, his face looks so adorable, Arya thinks.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"We're gonna have a baby," he says quietly like he's scared the moment will just disappear and looks up at her.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Yeah," she is nodding her head, smiling from ear to ear. She feels tears in her eyes. Gendry holds her face in his hands prepping kisses all over it and repeating "I love you" over and over again. She just laughs feeling like the happiest person in the whole world.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The pair is sitting on the opposite sides of their couch, facing each. The silence is heavy around them. Without Nymeria — who Sansa took for a walk to give Arya and Gendry chance to talk — there's not even a slight rustle anywhere. Both Arya and Gendry know what's about to happen, why they are here. Both do the best they can to avoid it for as long as possible. But it's better to rip the band off so Gendry speaks up.</p><p> </p><p>"This isn't working."</p><p> </p><p>Arya feels like he just stabbed her right in the heart. She understands that his words are true but it still hurts.</p><p> </p><p>"I know," she whispers. Her hands are locked on her knees and she's looking down at them. She knows that if she sees his face now she won't be able to stop the tears she's already holding back.</p><p> </p><p>"Arya," Gendry says her name so softly. "You know that I love you. I'll never stop loving or love anyone else the way I love you. That much is for sure. But I just can't do this any longer," he stops and takes a deep breath. He wants her to look at him so he takes one of her hands and starts drawing circles over it with his thumb. She gets the memo and looks up at him. "We've changed, both of us. And it's like we're strangers to each other now. It shouldn't be like this."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm really sorry I got us here," says Arya and a few tears manage to escape her eyes, sliding down her cheeks. Gendry brings his hands to her face to wipe them away.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't be. It's not your fault."</p><p> </p><p>"I love you," is all she can say.</p><p> </p><p>"Love you too. Always," he smiles sadly at her. "No matter what happens if you ever need me I'll be there. I don't care about the time or situation or anything, you got me."</p><p> </p><p>She swallows. "So this is it?"</p><p> </p><p>Gendry knows what Arya means. Is this the end of them?</p><p> </p><p>"It has to be. At least for now. Maybe, we take separate roads for now and at some point life brings up back to each other. Or maybe, we'll find somebody else who makes us happy."</p><p> </p><p>Arya's lower lip trembles and she bites down on it hard to stop it. Arya shakes her head violently. "No. No, there's no one else for me. It's you. It's only you. I don't want anyone else."</p><p> </p><p>Gendry doesn't know what else to do but put his lips on hers. It's bittersweet. They both pour all of the feelings they have inside into the kiss. And it's Arya who pulls away first. She doesn't want to open her eyes, doesn't want to see him get up and leave.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm gonna stay at Podrick's for a bit. I'll come around to collect my stuff."</p><p> </p><p>And with that it's done and he's gone and she's alone.</p><p> </p><p>Arya gets up from the couch and walks to the drawer in the bedroom and pulls out the box with two wedding bands that they never got to use. She pulls the engagement ring that he gave her off her finger and puts it inside the box, closing it and putting it as far away as it can go in the drawer.</p><p> </p><p>Arya's vision is blurry when she does that and when she texts Sansa to come back with Nymeria and help her pack her things. She can't stay in this place alone. It's their apartment and now there's no them. She has to get away from there. Staying would only make it harder and more painful. Looking at every single corner and remembering how they spent the entire night before work on that couch watching some stupid TV show that they got hooked on and only realized it once their alarms went off, how he pressed her against that door and kissed her hard when they returned from the gala her firm organized where she spent the entire evening teasing him, how she made him sit at the kitchen table every so often so he could try out a new recipe that she found online and tell her what he thought of it, how-</p><p> </p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Arya feels like somebody ripped the heart out of her chest. Though, if somebody did it wouldn't have hurt this much. She knows what was done was necessary. And now she just prays that it is only temporary and the universe just gives them time to figure themselves out. She prays that Gendry was right and life will actually bring them back to each other. Because Arya meant it when said there's no one else but Gendry for her. She knows for a fact that he's it for her, and that's the only way it can be.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lommy, Hot Pie and she were spending every other Saturday evening together at the bar. The other Saturdays they were spending with Gendry without her, deciding it would be too awkward for everyone to have the pair next to each other. It's been almost a whole year since they've broken up.</p><p> </p><p>She's been getting better. She even started going to therapy after Sansa convinced her that she needed some help in figuring out all of her feelings. And it was helping.</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, she still misses Gendry and it still hurts to think about the child they never got to have. But she's learned to live with that and how to not let these things dictate her life. She is finally talking and going out and being herself.</p><p> </p><p>"Hot Pie, just ask her out," says Lommy frustrated in the middle of Hot Pie's story about the new girl at the bakery where he works. It's not the first time he talks about her and every time it ends with him being too nervous to do anything about his very obvious crush on her. Arya would truly be surprised if the girl of his dreams didn't see any of it, how could she not?</p><p> </p><p>"I can't," Hot Pie says it like Lommy just suggested him to murder somebody. "She'll say no and I'll embarrass myself. She won't ever talk to me again."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, you never know what she'd say unless you ask her," Lommy pats his friend on the back. "Myrcella's wedding is in like three months. You better put this plus one invitation to use."</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up. You're also going alone," says Hot Pie to which Lommy mysteriously grins.</p><p> </p><p>"Am I now? Because to me it looks like the two of you are the only ones going by yourself."</p><p> </p><p>"No, it's not just us. Gendry is also-" Hot Pie replies without thinking. "Oh, no," he adds, quickly looks over to Arya then looks down at his hands and turns red. Lommy gives him a look. Arya notices their strange behavior.</p><p> </p><p>"Gendry is what?" she asks. She knows they never mention him in front of her. And the way Hot Pie avoids her eyes tells her he knows something that he thinks she won't like to hear.</p><p> </p><p>"Ummm..." he opens his mouth to try and explain but closes it right after.</p><p> </p><p>So Lommy takes it upon himself. "Gendry has been seeing someone, and he's thinking of bringing her to the wedding."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh..." Arya lets out. "I'm happy for him."</p><p> </p><p>She tries to sound sincere. And she wants to convince herself that she is sincere because she does want him to be happy. If that someone was doing it for him then so be it. He deserves happiness.</p><p> </p><p>And she tries to play it cool like it doesn't bother her but as soon as she gets to Sansa's flat — where she's been living ever since she sold her and Gendry's apartment, not wanting to be staying there without him - she goes online to looks through all of his social media. She hasn't done that for months since they broke up after Sansa caught her doing that and lectured her on how she would never get over him if she continued.</p><p> </p><p>So here she is now. Scrolling through his Instagram but there's nothing — he's never been very active there. Even when they were dating Gendry rarely posted any photos of the two of them, he prefered to be private about it. But now those few photos that were there before are gone. It saddens her even though she did the same first.</p><p> </p><p>Arya decides to check the profiles that he follows, opening every single one she doesn't know. He doesn't follow that many people — Arya is suprised when she sees that he still follows as he never comes up in her notifications. Arya stops her thoughts from going farther. She just resumes doing what she was doing before. Until...</p><p> </p><p><em>Jeyne</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Arya finds her. This Jeyne has a photo with Gendry posted a week ago. It's a cute photo. The woman is standing with her long dark hair down in waves. She is looking up at Gendry and is smiling. She has her arms around his neck with their faces close. Both of Gendry's hands are at her waist and he's smiling back at her.</p><p> </p><p>Arya scrolls down to the caption.</p><p> </p><p><em>Two months of constant smiles</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn't want to read comments talking about how the two of them look good together. So she puts her laptop away.</p><p> </p><p>He looks happy. Arya can't bring herself to feel the same.</p><p> </p><p>She acts purely on emotions when she pulls the laptop back towards herself and blocks both Jeyne and Gendry's accounts. She doesn't want them to somehow come up on her feed, to see them being oh so in love with each other. She blocks them and turns the computer off.</p><p> </p><p>She's just going to forget about this. It's none of her business who Gendry dates. She shouldn't care. And the least she can do is pretend like it doesn't bother her. Fake it 'till you make it as they say.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's a beautiful wedding. But would you really expect less from such families as Lannisters and Martells? The huge venue full of so many people that Arya can barely see the same people more than once.</p><p> </p><p>She sits at her table drinking some expensive champagne and chatting with Shireen, Gendry's cousin. They've met through him many years ago and have been keeping close ever since. They even were best friends at some point until Shireen had to move to Stormlands for the job opportunity and they stopped talking for a little. Now they talked almost every day, texting each other or being active on other's social media.</p><p> </p><p>"You should try this cocktail," says Shireen raising some fancy orange-colored drink. "It's so good, I swear."</p><p> </p><p>"And you should ease up on your drinking. I'm not carrying you home," replies Arya. She's been very serious with controlling how much she drank. When she and Gendry broke up, Arya spent quite a few days without sobering. Her family even threatened to send her to the hospital if she didn't stop. It was one of the reasons why she started therapy, besides the obvious. It helped.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I think I won't need that," says Shireen, looking behind Arya's shoulder. Arya turns around. A man who she doesn't know is looking their direction. He smiles and shakes his hand at them. At the corner of her eyes Arya sees her friend do the same.</p><p> </p><p>Arya returns her attention back to Shireen who just raises her eyebrows and innocently asks, "What?"</p><p> </p><p>Arya rolls her eyes. If she doesn't want to hook up with anyone, it doesn't mean she's going to stop others from doing it.</p><p> </p><p>Friends continue talking with Shireen looking behind Arya every now and then with playful face expressions. But then her face suddenly turns serious and she says, "Oh-oh..."</p><p> </p><p>Arya is about to ask her what's wrong when somebody else speaks up next to them. And Arya knows the voice too damn well.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey," Gendry says to both of the women, then turns to Arya, "you wanna dance?"</p><p> </p><p>None of them was much of a dancer. But there's something in the way he's looking at her that makes her nod her head and stand up moving to a dance floor with him. A slow song is playing so when they get there, Gendry turns so they are facing each other. He puts his hands on her waist and she on his shoulders, leaving some space between them. When Arya looks around she notices Hot Pie swaying with a girl that he used to constantly tell them about and a month before the wedding admitted he finally had asked out on a date. Lommy is not far, dancing and making out with a woman that Arya guess he has been dating for a while but refusing to tell them. </p><p> </p><p>"So," Gendry is the first one to start the conversation again. "How have you been?"</p><p> </p><p>"Good," says Arya. She keeps quiet for a bit, deciding whether to tell him or not. And then she does, "I've been doing therapy. For... You know, everything that happened."</p><p> </p><p>"Is it helping?" he asks. Arya looks up at his face. He's looking at her with such expression on his face that she wants to cry.</p><p> </p><p><em>I miss you</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Very much."</p><p> </p><p>"That's good."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," is all she says. They just sway to the music until Arya speaks up again. "What about you? How are you doing?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm good, too, yeah."</p><p> </p><p>"And Jeyne?" for some reason decides to ask Arya. She can't even think her words through before they leave her mouth. Gendry looks just as surprised by her question.</p><p> </p><p>"Ummm... She's- You know about her?"</p><p> </p><p>"Lommy and Hot Pie mentioned it. And then I saw a picture online," says Arya. She wants to slap herself for adding the second part. She really had to go ahead and admit stalking him.</p><p> </p><p>"Is this why you blocked me?" he sounds curious.</p><p> </p><p>Arya decides to play an idiot, hoping Gendry would drop the question, "I have no idea what you're talking about."</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't pressure for more, understanding enough.</p><p> </p><p>"Jeyne is great," he answers her initial question instead.</p><p> </p><p>"And why aren't you dancing with her now?" Arya isn't sure if her words sounds bitter. But Gendry's replies are calm.</p><p> </p><p>"She isn't here. Had to take a shift at work. She's a nurse."</p><p> </p><p>"That's nice."</p><p> </p><p>There's an awkward silence around them. None of them knows what to say to make it feel okay. Arya really doesn't understand why he asked her to dance with him in the first place. What did he want from it?</p><p> </p><p>The upbeat song comes up next. Arya pulls her hands away from Gendry and takes a step back, making his hands fall from her sides.</p><p> </p><p>"I gotta go," she mumbles and doesn't wait for his reply, just moves her feet towards the bathroom through the crowd of people. Gendry doesn't follow her, only watches as she gets farther and farther away from him, then runs a hand over his face muttering, "Fuck..."</p><p> </p><p>Arya closes the door to the bathroom behind her, puts her hands on the counter, leaning forward and looking at herself in the mirror.</p><p> </p><p><em>Stupid</em>.</p><p> </p><p>It's been enough time. Why can't she get over him? Why does she have to act like a fool in front of him? She couldn't even keep her mouth shut and control her jealousy when it came to his new girlfriend. Gendry looked fine, he was happy with Jeyne, and it's exactly what Arya wanted for him, right? So why does it hurt so much? <em>Because you thought he would be happy with you</em>, Arya thinks.</p><p> </p><p>Arya stays in that bathroom for a couple of minutes, breathing in and out, trying to make her heart stop racing and get her emotions under control. Once she feels like she's ready to go back to everyone, Arya touches on her makeup and hair and straightens her back, heading out of the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>She avoids Gendry for the rest of the night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>She manages to not cross any paths with him for two weeks. Right until he turns up at her door — or Sansa's door — on Saturday evening.</p><p> </p><p>She's surprised to see him, to say the least. She can't think of any reason why he is here. Maybe he came to Sansa? But her sister left the apartment early in the afternoon and said she'd stay over at Margaery's. Gendry can't be here for her. How would he even know she's currently living with Sansa?</p><p> </p><p>"Hi," Gendey greets her. "Can I come in, please?"</p><p> </p><p>Arya thinks about for a second, then opens the door wider to allow him in. When he's inside, she closes it and turns to face him.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Nymeria is immediatly next to him.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">"Hey, girl," he says softly to the dog, petting her on the head. He hasn't seen her for a whilebecause Arya took her with herself when they moved out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you here?" Arya asks.</p><p> </p><p>"I needed to see you," he answers honestly. Arya opens her mouth to ask him how he knew where she was but it's like he can read her mind — it's always been like that between them — because Gendry is already telling her everything. "I texted Sansa. She said you're here."</p><p> </p><p>It hits Arya why her sister so suddenly decided to spend the night out.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay... But what did you need me for?"</p><p> </p><p>Gendry doesn't hesitate when he says his next words, "I miss you."</p><p> </p><p>Arya's breath hitches. She must have misheard him. "Wh- What?"</p><p> </p><p>"I miss you, Arya," he repeats. "Ever since I saw you at the wedding I couldn't get you out of my head."</p><p> </p><p>Gendry takes a step closer to her and puts a hand on her cheek. He expects her to pull away but she doesn't move at all.</p><p> </p><p>"What about Jeyne?" she says.</p><p> </p><p>"I broke up with her last week. I couldn't stop thinking about you when I was with her. She deserves better than being put through shit like this."</p><p> </p><p>Arya swallows and whispers, "I miss you, too."</p><p> </p><p>They're looking each other in the eyes. Gendry brings his other hand to her face as well and slowly leans in closer, giving her a chance to stop him, which she doesn't even consider using. And soon there's no more space between them and his lips softly touch hers. The kiss is slow and gentle, making the pair pour every ounce of love they have for each other into it.</p><p> </p><p>Arya pulls away and puts their foreheads together.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry for everything that happened," she says and leans into the hand Gendry still has on her face. "I want you back, please. I want to give us another chance. There's no one else for me but you," she pleads.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry kisses her again then replies, "Yes. I want that, too. More than anything."</p><p> </p><p>Arya puts her hands around his neck, standing on her tiptoes and pushing her body as close to his as she can get. Gendry kisses Arya hard, and she opens her mouth when he runs his tongue along her bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>Arya pushes the jacket he's wearing off his shoulders and he helps her get it off him, throwing it somewhere on the floor. Then Gendry puts his hands back on her waist and slides them down to her ass, lifting her up as she wraps her legs around him without breaking the kiss. As he moves from her lips to her jaw and her neck, she says breathlessly, "The bedroom is down the hall."</p><p> </p><p>Gendry moves in the said direction, having to occasionally break the kiss to see where to go, but that doesn't stop them from hitting and knocking off a few things on their way.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they're in the room, Gendry lays Arya down on the bed and moves to get on top of her, supporting himself on his forearms. That doesn't last long, though, because in a second Arya uses the legs that she still has around him to turn them around and switch their positions, straddling his hips. Gendry only laughs at that and sits up pressing his back against the headboard. Arya pulls at the sweater he has on and he lifts his hands up to help her get rid of it. When it's off, he kisses her and starts working on the buttons of her shirt. Taking it off leaves Arya in nothing but her panties. He learns back and looks her over with such look of adoration that she feels her heart swell.</p><p> </p><p>His hands land on her thighs and he slowly starts to move them higher and higher and higher over her body. Arya pulls him in for a kiss and signs into it when he finally reaches her breasts and his thumbs start circling her already hard nipples.</p><p> </p><p>As Gendry continues teasing her, she decided to do the same to him. Arya moves her lips to his neck, kissing and sucking on it, and her fingers get to work on his belt. As soon as she manages to unclasp it, she slips a hand inside his jeans and uses it to cup his erection through his boxers.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck..." Gendry curses under his breath and she only grins. She loves seeing how worked up he gets. Especially, as she feels her panties get more and more soaked in her arousal. She knows he probably feels it, too. Because he growls and once again turns them around, pressing himself to her center. She doesn't protest this time but moans instead.</p><p> </p><p>And then he suddenly stands up from the bed. But before Arya can question his actions, he pulls her to the edge of the bed by the hips and kneels. His fingers curl into her underwear and pull it down just a little and he looks up at her as if to make sure she's okay with what he's doing. Arya just raises her hips off the bed and he takes it as an answer and tags her panties down her legs, throwing it to the side.</p><p> </p><p>So here she is, fully naked with her legs spread wide in front of him, breathing hard. He starts making his way up from her knees, kissing every inch of skin he can until he gets to her cunt. He licks his lips and lowers his face down to run his tongue along her folds, his eyes watching her. Arya gasps and her hands fly to his hair. Gendry repeats the motion and feels her tug on his hair lightly. He circles his tongue around her clit then sucks on it using his lips, one of his hands goes up to squeeze her breast.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Please</em>..." Arya whimpers. They've been in this position enough times before for Gendry to know exactly what she wants. He uses his free hand to put two fingers to her entrance but does not push them in yet. She tries to move her hips to get his fingers inside but he quickly brings his hand from her breast down to hold her in place. "Stop teasing".</p><p> </p><p>And Gendry gives in, pushing the fingers in, curling them inside then moving out, slowly repeating the movement while continuously giving attention to her clit with his mouth. It doesn't take long for Arya to start cursing and loudly moaning. Soon her thighs start to shake and her back arches off the bed and she cries out as she comes.</p><p> </p><p>When Arya returns to her senses, she puts her handson Gendry's jaw, urging him to move to her so she could kiss her. She can feel herself on his tongue and lips but she doesn't care.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you have a condom?" she asks him between kisses. The haven't used condoms during sex for quite a while, ever since they'd decided they wanted to have a child and were ready for it. But both know that it isn't the same now, they definitely have a long way to go until they come anywhere close to this decision.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Gendry replies. He stands up, pulls the foil wrapper from his back packet. That makes Arya chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>"Did you expect it to go like this?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at him.</p><p> </p><p>"More like hoped," Gendry grins as he pulls his jeans down, stepping out of them, with boxers following right after. He pulls the condom on his hard cock and climbs back to bed to get on top of her, holding most of his weight on his arms. He kisses her. His cock brushes against her, making her gasp and him bite her lower lip slightly.</p><p> </p><p>Arya puts her hands on his waist wraps her legs around his torso, heels digging into his ass, urging him to take action. Gendry uses one of his hands to line himself up with her opening and slowly pushes in her warmth as far as he can. The two of the grunt and moan at the friction and Gendry feels her inner walls grip him tight inside her. He gives Arya a moment to adjust before pulling out almost fully and going back in deeper. He tries his best to make his thrusts slow so he can make it last for both them. It takes a lot of his self-control because his body wants, needs to move faster and watching Arya palm her own breasts and roll her nipples with her fingers certainly doesn't help. It's only when she breaths out a "faster" does he allow himself to give in to the desire and passion that take over his mind.</p><p> </p><p>It's not long after that his movements become erratic and he knows he's not going to last much longer. By the sounds she makes and the way her body wriggles and how her cunt clenches around him, Gendry understands that she's close as well. His hand finds its way to her clit and starts drawing fast circles on it. Her arms that are on his back grip him tightly and her nails dig into his skin, surely leave a mark, but he doesn't mind, she often did it when they fucked.</p><p> </p><p>In seconds her body tenses up and she comes hard with her body quivering and his name falling from her lips. It triggers his own orgasm and he gives it one final deep push before he sucks hard on her neck and spills himself inside the condom.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck..." Gendry mutters, putting his forehead on hers, eyes closed. His whole body is weak but he does his best to support his weight on his arms and knees so he doesn't crush her with his weight.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah..." Arya agrees. The moment feels perfect and she wants it to last forever. She really missed <em>this</em> and <em>him</em> so much.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry finally pulls out of her once he regains his breathing under control. He goes to get rid of the used condom and Arya gets up to quickly use a bathroom, walking there on weak legs.</p><p> </p><p>When she comes up, Gendry is already laying on his back on a bed, arms opened for her. Arya moves to him, putting her head on his chest and arm around his middle. He pulls her closer, as much as he possibly can. The two of them just lay there in silence, listening to each other's heartbeat and breathing.</p><p> </p><p>"You've been living with Sansa all this time?" Gendry asks carefully. It's not an easy topic but he still wants to know.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," Arya answers calmly. "But I've been looking for a place to move to."</p><p> </p><p>"Found anything good?"</p><p> </p><p>"There's a nice flat not far from my office."</p><p> </p><p>"Think it can fit one more person inside?" he asks. It's probably too early for something like this, even though they'd been living together for over five years before everything happened. Too much happened after that. But he still does ask for some reason. He truly expects her to turn him down, at least for some time.</p><p> </p><p>But she doesn't. Arya raises her head from his chest, looks up at him and smiles lightly. "I think we can manage," she says and pecks his lips before returning her head to the place over his heart.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest. He loves her so much and he can't believe she's here in his arms again after such a long time. He just tightens the grip he has around her and pulls the blankets over their bodies. Gendry kisses her forehead before laying his head on a pillows and closing his eyes, letting sleep overtake him.</p><p> </p><p>This night there's nothing in his dreams but Arya and Arya only.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>They do in fact manage to fit into that apartment together. It's not big or anything, but they have more than enough space.</p><p> </p><p>It's been months of them living together again. Gendry comes home from work on a Friday evening when he sees that all lights in the apartment are turned off and there're candles all over living room and kitchen. The kitchen table is loaded with plates and food and glasses of wine. Then Arya appears in his point of view. She's wearing a short red dress, her hair is down in waves. He's speechless.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi," she says shyly, looking at him and smiling, her hands nervously tugging on the edge of her dress.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi, breaths out Gendry. He freezes in one place, eyes wide and mouth open. "Why-" he tries to ask but can't get the words out so he just motions his hand towards her.</p><p> </p><p>"I got a promotion. Thought we could celebrate," answers Arya. In truth, it's not the only reason why she organized everything but she decides to wait a little longer to bring the other thing up.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry takes offhis jacket and quickly makes his way to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he's back, Arya is already sitting at the table so he takes his seat. Now he gets a better look at what's on the table and his mouth immediately starts to water. He didn't realize how hungry he is right until this moment and seeing all of his favorite dishes right in front of him and their smell hitting his nose makes his stomach growl very loudly.</p><p> </p><p>They start eating and drinking and chatting about how their day went.</p><p> </p><p>"And then he said how important for the company was me winning this case. As a thank you he gave me a promotion and also said that he'd be more than willing to give me an extra vacation for a week or twoif i wanted one," says Arya, telling him what happened at her office today.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you going to take it?" asks Gendry. The smile doesn't leave his face for a second as he listens to every word she says and watches the excitement pour out of her. He loves seeing her like this.</p><p> </p><p>"Depends," Arya smiles suggestively. "Would you like to take a trip? Maybe take a short cruise in the Narrow sea?"</p><p> </p><p>Gendry sees it in her eyes how much she hopes he'd say yes.</p><p> </p><p>"Aye, I'd like that".</p><p> </p><p>Arya's smile gets so big that his face instantly mirrors her expression.</p><p> </p><p>Arya raises her glass, "Let's drink to that". They clink their glasses together and do as she suggested.</p><p> </p><p>It's a bit later that Arya finally decides to bring up a question that's been on her mind for some time since they've been back together. Because things between them have been good, <em>really good</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Gendry?" starts Arya.</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm?" he mumbles without even looking up from his plate.</p><p> </p><p>Arya takes a deep breath and voices her thoughts, "Do you still want to marry me?"</p><p> </p><p>As her words leave her lips he finally looks up. Her eyes are so big and scared of what he might say. He opens his mouth to say "<em>what</em>?" but stops himself just in time. She looks nervous enough as it is, he doesn't need or want to make it even harder for her.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you still have the rings?" he asks instead, knowing exactly what he wants to do. She nods. "Can you bring them here, please?"</p><p> </p><p>She gets up from her seat and goes into the bedroom, coming back with a red box. He also gets up when she stands before him. Gendry opens the box and takes out her engagement ring then gets down on one knee before her. Arya doesn't believe what she sees in front of her. It's such a deja vu. She remembers the first time he did the same and feels the tears build up in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Arya Stark," Gendry says her name. And it's so sweet and soft, yet serious so she knows he's not joking, and it makes her heart jump out of her chest. He's holding the ring up so she can see it but their eyes don't leave the other's for a second. "Will you marry me?"</p><p> </p><p>She lets out a chuckle. "I asked you first."</p><p> </p><p>Gendry chuckles, too. "Yeah? Didn't see you get down on your knee."</p><p> </p><p>"Stupid," her smile is wide as she says it. Then Arys nods. "Yes, Gendry Waters, I'll marry you."</p><p> </p><p>He puts a ring on her finger — gods, how much she missed it being there — and stands up, cupping her face with both of his hands and kisses her which turns out to be difficult with how much the two of them smile. But none of them would even wish for it to be any different.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>They decided not to wait around this time. So they elope. They don't tell anyone anything until everything is done. And how they do it — post a picture of the two of them smiling nonchalantly and holding their hands up. There's only one word in the caption.</p><p> </p><p><em>Married</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Their phones immediately start ringing with constant calls and texts and other notifications from their friends and family. Some congratulating them, some (mostly Catelyn) asking why there wasn't a big wedding. So they promise everyone to have it some time later.</p><p> </p><p>For now, they just prefer to enjoy their newly gained statuses between just the two of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The day that all of them have been waiting for comes so fast.</p><p> </p><p>Arya wakes him up in the middle of the night. He used to be a very deep sleeper, there was nothing that could have pulled him from his dreams. The key words are used to be. The farther Arya was getting into the pregnancy the easier and faster any movement was making him open his eyes and sit up in bed to take in the situation around him. After what happened the last time, Gendry was always on the alert. But fortunately, every single time it ended up being a false alarm, most of them being Arya having a nightmare or Nymeria suddently deciding to curl in bed with them. If it was the first thing, he'd always just wake Arya up, kiss her forehead and pull her closer to him from behind, putting his hands on her swollen belly.</p><p> </p><p>This time it's Arya shaking him awake.</p><p> </p><p>"Gendry, get up," she says, standing in front of him. He opens his eyes and sees her, wearing different clothes from the ones she went to sleep in, and her hand on her stomach. "My water broke."</p><p> </p><p>Even though it's barely been a second since he woke up, Gendry's brain immediately understands what's happening, making him jump out of bed.</p><p> </p><p>"Shit," mutters Gendry, flying from one end of the flat to another, searching for his clothes and other things. Only by luck he manages not to trip over Nymeria who's running around and jumping excitedly (neither Gendry or Arya would have been surprised if she actually knew what was happening, she was a very smart dog after all). When he has everything that he might need, Gendry moves to the door. Arya is already there, fully dressed, leaning on the wall. Her face is crunched in consentration, hands on her belly.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry moves to stand in front of her. He sets his hands on top of hers and plants a kiss to the crown of her head.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you so much," he whispers against her hair. He can feel how tense her body is and he knows that she's in pain. He just holds her close for a little until Arya seems to relax. Her hand moves to his arm and squeezes it.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm okay," she says. "Let's go."</p><p> </p><p>He pecks her lips and goes to grab the car keys and bags that they've packed for the hospital a week ago. She's right behind him, locking the door and walking to the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>Once they get in the car, Gendry immediately puts it in drive and pulls out of the parking lot, moving to the hospital. It’s not the closest ride but he does his best to not let his nervousness and excitement turn him into a reckless driver. In fact he even manages to keep everything under the speed limit; <em>almost</em>. He leaves one of his hands on the steering wheel while taking Arya’s hand into the other one and entwining their fingers together. She still keeps her hands on her belly and Gendry occasionally feels her body tense, breathing get heavy and her grip on his hand tighten.</p><p> </p><p>"Almost there. Are you okay?" Gendry asks, his voice full of concern.</p><p> </p><p>"Just drive," she cuts short. Arya’s in pain, he knows it. But she’s been through worse, right? She’s been stabbed for god’s sake. But no, it’s so much different."Fuck..." she whimpers.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry knows there’s nothing he can say to make it easier for her so he just lets her squeeze his hand and hits a gas pedal harder. It takes mere minutes to get to the hospital. There Arya gets places in a room and after the doctor comes and looks her over, they get told to just stay there and wait. Nurse suggests Arya to use epidural to relieve the pain but Arya refuses. Gendry seeing her crying from pain wants to try to pressure her into agreeing but knows there’s no point in arguing with her, especially now so he keeps his mouth shut instead.</p><p> </p><p>The waiting is tiring. All he can do is sit next to Arya and massage her shoulder to help her at least in some way.</p><p> </p><p>"Can you text everyone?" she asks him, her voice quiet after another contraction.</p><p> </p><p>"Sure," Gendry replies and pulls out his phone. He quickly sends a text to Stark family group chat saying that Arya is about to give birth then does the same for his family and their close friends. "Imagine if all of them show up here," he tries to joke but before he can get any reaction out of her, contraction hits her once again.</p><p> </p><p>The doctor comes back soon after. "You’re fully dilated," he informs Arya a few minutes later then adds, "Would you like to have your husband present during the delivery?"</p><p> </p><p>Arya nods and then it starts.</p><p> </p><p>People come inside the room, moving around and preparing everything. Gendry doesn’t leave her side even for a moment. He isn’t sure how long it lasts. There’s a lot of noises and pushes and curses and Arya’s practically sobbing next to him. His hand goes absolute numb from how tight she grips on it. It might have been minutes or hours or days. It doesn’t matter because as soon as a piercing scream fills in the room he forgets everything.</p><p> </p><p>"It’s a girl," says the midwife bringing this tiny little thing to Arya’s chest. Gendry feels the tears in his eyes and he doesn’t even try to stop them. He’s sure he’d see the same on Arya’s face if only he could look away from the child.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a girl. He has a daughter. <em>They have a daughter.</em></p><p> </p><p>"Holy shit," whispers Gendry. "Holy shit."</p><p> </p><p>"Miss Stark, you need to deliver the placenta now," says the midwife. Arya moves to put the baby in Gendry’s arms then starts pushing again.</p><p> </p><p>Gendry is just starting at the little girl like he can’t believe she’s actually real. She doesn’t scream anymore, just softly whimpers. He finally turns his gaze to Arya who looks exhausted but there’s a smile on her face.</p><p> </p><p>"We made her," he speaks softly. "She’s ours."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Arya agrees and moves her arms as if to tell him that she wants to hold her baby. No matter how much he doesn’t want to ever let go of the small body of their daughter, he puts the child in Arya’s arms. After everything she’s done to get this child into the world, Gendry is convinced on putting her wishes over his. "I love you."</p><p> </p><p>"I love you, too. So fucking much," says Gendry and learns down to give Arya a short kiss which she returns. Then his gaze is once again goes back to the baby. "Holy shit..."</p><p> </p><p>And just like that their lives get divided into before and after. And whatever was before — all the good and all the bad — they’re grateful for. It’s been such a long and difficult journey but it’s doesn’t matter anymore because they’re here now. Everything is fine now. More than that.</p><p> </p><p>Everything is perfect.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Leave kuddos and comments. It would make me happy.</p><p>Also you might have thought that everything feels rushed which i agree with. Definitely need practice.</p><p>If you wanna criticize then you can do. But please be nice. I'm truly not good with it</p></blockquote></div></div>
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